Hackensack to Baton Rouge! 11/18/97
Hello weary traveler. It's good to be back on the road with you again. What has it been? Two years? Well maybe not two years, but it's been a while since my last travel companion, Christy Bracken, and I took to the road. This time I have a new travel companion. Kendall Lamar is the Dean Moriarty to my Jack Kerouac. Or are we more like those guys in Dumb and Dumber? You be the judge. Continue, dear reader, and judge for yourself.
I picked the car up in Hackensack, New Jersey. A drive away to Baton Rouge. I'm proud to be associated with two such beautiful cities. We are delivering this 1996 Dark Green Taurus to Exxon of Baton Rouge. The car has no plates on it. We look like the mob or some secret agents. I imagine we'll be pulled over constantly. I will have to explain that we are industrial spies for Exxon and license plates would blow our cover.
I met Kendall in New York on Sunday morning after a brutal 3 days. My friend Gary Kleinman was married this weekend. Our plans where thrown off because I had to attend my Grandma's funeral. She died last Wednesday. I told Kendall he'd need to cool his heels in New York for a few days while I went to Lewistown for the funeral. When we where discussing it, I told him I had to be in Philadelphia by 3:21 to pick up my sister at the airport. "What the hell," Kendall said, "I'll come to Philly for a cheese steak." I had been talking up the cheese steaks (with Cheez Wiz) for quite a while. He hated to miss them. He then took a bus back to the New York City. He then met me in Harrisburg (Pennsylvania's capitol) the following night. And off we were. Our trip has just begun and we've already hit a few snags.
On our way into Washington D.C., we got off at Pennsylvania Avenue and were unable to find the White House. We couldn't even find Washington D.C. Seems we got off in the wrong town. The up side to our wrong turn is that we got to spend an evening (one of many, I hope) in a Motel 6. Not just any Motel 6 either. The Motel 6 at Edwards Air Force base. If I notice any suspicious activity, you'll be the first to know. I already think I saw Gary Oldman trying to sneak onto Air Force One. But he accidentally got on a Burlington Air Express plane to Omaha instead. We shant be hearing from him in a while.
(View from the Capitol steps) The showers here leave a little to be desired. The water does not get very warm. On top of that, it actually got colder. If the temperature of my shower had dropped an additional 5 degrees, I would have been made a member of the Washington D.C. Polar Bear Club. Ahhh Yes. I can see it now: "Good day, Strom" "Why, Max, how are you?" Yes I'd be rubbing elbows with the powerful and the elite of Washington D.C. Who knows? Maybe I could have influenced the vote on taxing the Spotted Owl. We'll never know now.
Kendall's Spin! Transportation. In the past three days I have been on two jetliners, an airport bus, several Brooklyn- and Manhattan-bound subway trains, NYC cabs, the Jersey Path train, an unmarked Ford Taurus, the 6:00 Greyhound from Philly to Grand Central, and the Amtrak Keystone Express from Penn Station to Harrisburg, PA. Only the airliner was planned. There's something to be said for the adrenaline rush you get from running headfirst into things you never planned on.
While Max attended the wedding, I stayed with my old friend Katy and her new husband Josh. They live in Brooklyn and are constantly working on making it big. They want their names up on the big screen. They want to entertain. If it were anyone else, I'd tell them they were insane, that maybe they should reconsider this crazy dream. But they want this. And I know they won't stop until they've got it.
Sunday morning I met Max in the city to go to breakfast. We ended up going to Philly for cheese steak sandwiches (Cheez Whiz). Max was picking up his lovely sister Mimi from Paris. On the way into Philly, we came across a Radisson hotel with a disturbing sign out front. Apparently some sort of clown convention. Mid-Atlantic Clowns, no less. Probably the largest collection of axe-murderers and child molesters outside of Attica.
Returned to NYC on a bus, and chatted with Katy till late. She's going to take Kick-boxing to add to her resume. Apparently kicking ass is the newest attribute directors are looking for when casting beautiful actors. Maybe she'll get to be in Streetfighter 3. Well now that road's a callin'. Kendall will be reporting more on our trip. Keep an eye out.
Write Max on this lonely road. Write Kendall on this lonely road. |
